The TIC Principle

Despite what you may have heard, companies do not pay people to work. They say they do, but the truth is they do not really expect it. All Guppies understand what I call the TIC principle. TIC stands for time in chair, and the TIC principle states that an employee's most important function is to keep a chair warm. Managers like to see bodies sitting at all the desks in their domains. It matters not whether the bodies are actually doing anything. As long as all the chairs are full, it makes managers feel good and reassures them that they are running a tight ship and are getting important work done. They get nervous if a chair is vacant for too long, so develop the skill to stay in your chair as much as possible during the day. Successful Guppies are always good sitters, and they understand that the corporate world is similar to elementary school. You get stars by your name for perfect attendance.

Remember: Attendance is mandatory--work is optional.